“Open your eyes!”

These are the words that still haunt me as I recover from an unexpected medical condition that  I have been battling over the past four months. In March 2024, I developed Strep-A-induced Toxic Shock Syndrome, a rare condition with potentially deadly effects. I was so sick that I was placed into a medically induced coma for 13 days. At first, my family was told there was a high potential for mortality. Then, there was discussion of foot and hand amputation. And, then the possibility of life-long dialysis.

I’m happy to say that none of these things occurred.

Despite having experienced multi-symptom organ failure-including kidney failure and a heart operating at 10% efficiency, I’ve had no organ damage. Although I didn’t escape unscathed, overall, I’m doing well. And, most importantly, thankfully, I beat something that often kills many. Sadly, while I was in the hospital, a woman that was my age died of the same condition. Someone recently told me, “You have nine lives,” which may or may not be true But, I am eternally grateful that I survived this unexpected nightmare.

Recently, when sharing my tale of woe with a friend, she asked me, “What did you learn from this experience?”At first, her question shocked me. “Learn,” I thought to myself seems an odd takeaway from a near-death experience. However, after thinking more about the question, I realized that the word “learn” in this context was more than just one relating to traditional academic learning. It was much more philosophical, relating more to life lessons and perspective.

Since having that simple, yet intellectually complex question posed to me, I’ve been reflecting upon this experience and, in many ways, struggling to find an answer. Before contracting Toxic Shock Syndrome, my life was vibrant and fulfilling. I have incredible kids, an amazing family and a wonderful group of supportive friends. Professionally, I love everything I’m involved with-working as a college professor, academic mentor and communications coach. I had finally achieved my professional goals and was excited about expanding my work. I was someone who valued everyone and everything in my life. I appreciated the little things and went out of my way to celebrate them. My glass was always half-full with the ability to see the positive in even the most dire of situations.

Now, as I emerge from the greatest challenge of my life, my perspective on things hasn’t changed – it has been expanded. The “lessons” I learned come from not so much from what I experienced but what I’ve observed as I re-emerge from this unexpected, near-death event.

Lesson #1: Compassion Still Exists

From the moment I woke up from my coma on April 3rd, I’ve been overwhelmed by the level of compassion I have experienced from my family, friends, acquaintances, colleagues, and anyone else who has heard my story. I’ve spoken with college roommates, former colleagues and dozens of students that I have had the privilege of teaching over the past 15 years. I have had complete strangers start prayer groups for me and received well-wishes from complete strangers who learned of my story. I’m not sure how or why I have been blessed to receive such an incredible level of support; but I have. And I can wholeheartedly say it has been an invaluable asset in my recovery.

Lesson #2: Little Things Truly Matter

When I woke up from my coma, there was very little that I could do. I couldn’t speak, having lost my voice due to being in a coma for nearly two weeks. I couldn’t lift my arms over my head or sit up straight as I had lost so much weight and muscle mass. And walking was out of the question. Talking, moving my arms and legs, and walking were things that I took for granted before this experience. I also couldn’t brush my teeth, feed myself or even wash my face as these are all things that require arm movement. For someone who had been fiercely independent, I had become 100% dependent on the world around me. Not only was this frustrating, it was also humiliating. But, more importantly, it was inspiring. Being able to stand in front of the mirror to brush my teeth and wash my face was something I just dd without any thought. Walking and running (I was an avid distance runner) were things that were part of my every day, and then suddenly, they vanished from my life.

These little things that had been part of my daily routine suddenly became the inspiration and motivation for my recovery. I dreamt about being able to walk, run, and play with my dog in the backyard. The first time I walked after being released from the hospital, I started to cry. Although I am still not running, and probably won’t for months, I know that it’s something I ultimately will do. The tedium of daily life has been transformed into the inspiration for everyday life.

Lesson #3: Baby Steps Matter

Recovering from the sudden illness has been the most overwhelming experience of my life. Prior to March 22nd, I had no health issues. I was a runner, avid tennis player and barre class junkie. I went for annual check-ups, ate healthy, got eight hours of sleep a night and did everything every medical professional told me to do. I wasn’t supposed to get sick, but I did. Processing how to navigate this unpredicted journey has been difficult for me, as well as countless others in my life. Like most things, however, even the most insurmountable of challenges can be successfully conquered if you give yourself the time and patience to do it. With my overly type A, impatient personality, this has been a difficult thing to do. I’ve forced myself to take baby steps and set mini milestones to keep my sanity while trying to navigate and process what I have been through.

Summary

I’ll be the first to admit that it has been tough, with more ups and downs that one can possibly imagine, The practice of setting daily personal goals and celebrating the completion of them has been shockingly rewarding. I’ve always been good at acknowledging the success of others but failed at recognizing my own. As I emerge from this ordeal, I’m going to do my best to not take myself or my skills for granted. Self-celebration is something that most of us fail to do, but it is something that should incorporated into our daily lives.

I wouldn’t wish what I have gone through on my worst enemy. It has been terrible, plain and simple. As I write this, I still wonder how this could have happened to me while simultaneously being beyond thankful for the fact that I survived, as I know that others have not.

The “lessons” I have learned from this experience aren’t revolutionary. In fact, they are quite simple. In aggregate, they have inspired me to keep going despite the challenges that I face now and in the future. They have given me an even greater appreciation for my family, friends, and community, who have been here to support me every step of the way. Most importantly, they have taught me to celebrate the good and the bad of daily life.

Each one of us is different and chooses to live life in their own way. I hope the lessons I have learned from this experience inspire you to take some time to discover yourself and determine your own life lessons.

Tag/s:Empathy, Personal Development,